What is the Secret to Eternal Youth? (When Beauty Becomes an Obsession….)

Last Updated on March 17, 2017 by Diane Hoffmaster

What is the secret to eternal youth?  What exactly is ‘youth’ anyhow? Is it how you look or how you feel?  I hit 40 a few years ago and all of a sudden I am starting to notice those gray hairs and fine lines that I have been pretty good at ignoring up until now.  Sure, the metabolism has slowed down and I can’t walk past a bathroom without having to pee but I’m not getting old, right? HAH!  I look back at pictures of me in my 20’s and I am seriously starting to wonder how I can get that glowing skin and shiny hair back.  But then I start taking a look at the extremes that some people go to when trying to hold on to their youthful appearance.  Here are just a few crazy beauty obsessions that you may want to consider if eternal youth is something you can afford to buy!

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What is the Secret to Eternal Youth?


What is the Secret to Eternal Youth?

Here in the burbs, I am surrounded by women who spend a small fortune in their quest for youth and vitality.  Salons, gym memberships, personal trainers, mani/pedis and a wardrobe large enough to clothe a small country in Africa are all attempts to maintain beauty and help women look younger than they really are.  Women, it seems, are constantly searching for the secret to eternal youth.  Silly?  Maybe…but so much of a woman’s sense of self-worth is tied to how she looks that ignoring the need to look good isn’t really an option.  How FAR we are willing to go to achieve and maintain our vitality is a personal decision….and most likely a financial one as well!  I would love to hang at the spa all day, every day but since my husband isn’t ridiculously rich,  that just isn’t going to happen.

What is the Secret to Eternal Youth?

What is the secret to eternal youth? Try these ideas!

1. The Fish Pedicure:  The Gara Rufa fish likes to eat the dead skin on your feet.  Fish pedicure salons are common in the UK and for a hefty fee you can sit quietly and let the fish nibble your toes to a beautiful, smooth finish. I wonder if I could get these guys to live in my koi pond…I could make a living selling fish pedicures to the neighbors!

2. Vajazzling:  Think your lady parts could use a little bit of bling?  You can actually decorate your nether region with Swarovski crystals. Apparently, Jennifer Love Hewitt told everyone that she liked to ‘vajazzle’ her ‘vajayjay’ and the trend took off from there.  Since I am assuming this decor requires a pretty…uh…SMOOTH surface and I am not waxing that particular portion of my anatomy, I will have to skip the vajazzling for now.

What is the Secret to Eternal Youth?

 What is Secret to Eternal Youth? Maybe it’s beer!

3. Bathing in Beer:  Across Europe, it is becoming popular to soak in large tubs of beer.  The theory is that the hops and yeast are extremely high in nutrients and act as an exfoliant and moisturizer.  I can tell you right now if I headed for my husband’s beer supply to dump in the tub, it would be grounds for divorce.  He takes his beer very seriously.  Of course, it might act as an aphrodisiac if I came to bed smelling like his favorite Pilsner!

4. Lip Transfers/Tattoos: I am all for a nice rosy set of lips but I have to say that I draw the line at tattooing leopard print on my kisser.  Of course, people seem to think that injecting Botulism toxin into their lips is an acceptable practice, too, so maybe I am missing something here.  I think I will stick to my plain old pink lips with a touch of gloss. At least my lips won’t clash with my outfit!

What is the Secret to Eternal Youth?

5. Bull Semen Hair Mask:  There are just certain things that I firmly believe should not end up in your hair and I would put bull semen on that list.  However, if you want to drop $100 you can have a mixture of bull semen and a protein-rich plant extract massaged into your hair.  Oh, and it is even ORGANIC bull semen.  Even better, right? So far this appears to be limited to the UK but will probably be available at your neighborhood salon any day now.

So, if my husband were actually fabulously wealthy, would I consider these options to get back the bouncy hair and toned skin I had at 20?  I’m not so sure. There is something to be said for growing old gracefully, right? What is the secret to eternal youth?  If it isn’t one mentioned here, check out these shocking beauty treatments for more ideas!

Do you have an anti-aging secret you want to share?


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  1. Sorry but I don't see myself running off to have any of these done right now :)

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