Having a baby at 40? I’d rather start menopause!

Last Updated on March 17, 2017 by Diane Hoffmaster

Ever since  my daughter could hold her first doll at the age of 1 year old she has been obsessed with babies.  She would take them everywhere with her, dress them, feed them, and fix up their pretend boo-boos.  Every year her Christmas wish list included stuff for her babies….they have more clothes than I do along with sleeping bags, tents, strollers, and so many other things there is barely space for my daughter in her room. At the age of 6 she started asking Santa to please leave her a baby under the Christmas tree.  At age 7 she wanted to know how that 16 year old girl at our church managed to get her own baby and where could SHE get one.  At age 8 I finally broke down and told her exactly how people got babies.  She was horrified at the reality of conception and now at age 10 has decided that she is going to adopt as many babies as she can because there is no way she is ever actually having sex.  (YAY…mom doing a little happy dance here!)

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emily baby doll

Two days ago she came home and told me that her friend’s mom is 51 and proceeded to do a little bit of math for me….if her friend is 10 years old and his mother is 51 that means she had him when she was 41…which is the EXACT age that I am.  So, we are back to the ‘Hey mom, why don’t you have another baby’ argument.  Now, don’t get me wrong…I LOVE babies!  I loved being pregnant and had easy labors. I loved my kids as infants…they hadn’t yet learned how to talk back, roll their eyes, sigh loudly, or stomp up the stairs.  Sure, there was colic and spit up and middle of the night feedings but those were a blast compared to the tween years!  So, why don’t I want any more babies?  Here is an honest look at why this 40 something mom won’t be having another baby any time soon (and please, God, do not decide I should be your humorous moment of the month!):


A Baby After 40? I’d rather start menopause!


1.  At the age of 41 and having had 2 children already, I pee every hour on the hour.  I cannot sneeze without peeing.  My children and husband get annoyed that I have to stop at every public restroom we pass.  I could not survive a 3rd baby sitting on my bladder while pregnant.  I might as well just take up residence in the bathroom and ask for toilet paper for a baby shower gift.

2.  The only reason I am getting up in the middle of the night any more is to pee.  (see number one above!) I do not want to hear a baby crying in the middle of the night.  I get annoyed enough when I hear my husband snoring but at least I can smack him and make him be quiet.  Obviously that isn’t going to work for a newborn.

3.  I would have to give up drinking.  Okay, this makes me sound like a lush but honestly, I enjoy my one glass of wine before bed.  Some days it is vital for my sanity and the continued survival of my children and husband that I have time to sit down to a drink now and then.  9 months of pregnancy without a glass of wine would not be pleasant. I can’t guarantee my current children would survive to see the birth of their new baby brother or sister.

4.  We have no more room in our house for large plastic toys or baby furniture.  Despite the fact that we live in a 4 bedroom, 2 story house in the burbs.  I just spent a weekend rearranging the furniture in our house so my husband could make a man cave out of the spare bedroom.  Yes, I now have a room in my house called a man cave.  Why can’t I have a mom cave? If I don’t get a mom cave than the baby doesn’t get a nursery.

5.  I have become very selfish in middle age.  I am glad I do not have to get up on Saturday and make my kids breakfast.  I can kick them out of the house for an hour and enjoy peace and quiet without worrying about what they are eating out in the yard.  Okay, the 12 year old boy child might be stupid enough to try something like this but I like to think they put him in the gifted program for a reason.  I do not want to become reattached to another human being 24/7…there are days I do not want to be attached to the ones I have!


It goes without saying that if I ended up with one of those ‘oops’ babies that I would give up the wine, the sleeping, the free time and find room for a crib in the man cave.  Here’s hoping menopause hits soon so I don’t have to worry about such a thing happening!

So, what do YOU think?  Are you too old to have a baby?

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  1. I am 45. I would rather have a root canal that another baby. Horrid concept. I want the two I have now to grow up and move out soon LOL. I cannot imagine waiting another 18 years.
  2. Oh come one now! It's the perfect time to have a baby. I just so happen to fall under both of the categories in your title so I had to stop by. I intentionally had my "second set" of babies later in life. 39 and 41 as a matter of fact. That of course put me in to early menopause so no more for me! Actually parenting babies/toddlers at an older age is easier, I have more patience and appreciation than I did when the girls were little. So have at it! Your daughter needs a baby sister dang it! ;) Seriously it really is just a matter of choice and your "place in life". My life still felt empty and now it is full. If yours is full already, let it be. I really enjoyed this post!
    • part of me would love to have another baby...I loved being pregnant and nursing was such a special thing with my kids but...babies grow up. My husband tells me I dont want more KIDS, I just want more babies :) Can't give 'em back when they hit 2!
  3. Your post made me laugh when I got to the part about sneezing. I'm not the only one!
  4. I agree about the Happy Hour sign, lol. To be honest I have 2 kids and I'm exhausted don't know how parents can have more than that to be peppy. I love kids though..Just wished that they didn't grow too fast. Awesome post!
  5. Yes, I completely agree! I do not want another baby in my 40's. Points 1 and 2 certainly apply to me. No thank you to having another baby jumping up and down on my bladder!
  6. You are too funny! You made my morning :)
  7. I agree! Can't miss that nightly glass of wine!

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