Important Lessons We Should Teach Our Sons

When my son was born 13 years ago I looked into his tiny face and wondered what sort of things he would accomplish in his life.  Would he be a famous scientist?  Maybe he would discover a cure for cancer or help bring about peace to nations at war.  There are so many possibilities when a baby is born that it is just a bit overwhelming to realize that YOU are in charge of the fate of this boy.  As his mother, I know that I play a big role in how he grows up and the development of his personality.  It is just a tad bit intimidating…I could really screw up an otherwise decent kid with a few stupid decisions!  As he has gotten older, I have come to realize that WHAT he accomplishes in life isn’t anywhere near as important as the type of person he becomes.  I would rather him be a garbage man with a well developed since of pride, independence, and individuality than have him become a lawyer with no moral compass to steer him in the right direction.  There are a number of important lessons we should teach our sons as they grow up to ensure they become men who we will be proud to have raised.  I don’t want his future wife to wonder what in the world I was thinking when I was raising him!  So, I am putting these important lessons we should teach our sons down in print, as a reminder every day that this boy needs guidance if he is going to grow into a decent human being.  Of course, as a teenager, we are REALLY far from decent human being right now!  At the moment my son is in the grunting and acting slovenly stage.  I really hope this phase passes quickly but until it does I will just keep hammering these lessons home and throwing up a prayer to God every once in a while that maybe he could give me a helping hand!  Here are my own ideas for lessons we should teach our sons:

 lessons we should teach our sons

Important Lessons We Should Teach Our Sons

1.  Unless you want to starve, learn how to cook.  Nothing will impress your future wife more than if you make her a home cooked meal that did not come out of a can.  Pick up a wooden spoon occasionally and use it for something other than scratching your back.

2.  Body odor is NOT manly.  Bathe regularly.  And actually use soap!  Keep your nails trimmed and your armpits de-stinkified.  Deodorant is helpful but do not use cologne to take the place of a shower.  You will still smell like BO, I promise!

3.  Real women do not look like Victoria’s Secret models.  Your future wife will most likely not look like the life sized version of a Barbie doll.  Get over it…you don’t exactly look like Ken, either!

4.  Money doesn’t grow on trees.  Just because you have a plastic card with a nearly endless supply of purchasing power doesn’t mean you have to use it.  Spend wisely and save for a rainy day.  If your girlfriend is more impressed with expensive, sparkly things than an act of kindness occasionally she isn’t worth having.  Learn how to balance a checkbook, invest in mutual funds, and create a budget.  If you choose not to do this there are plenty of empty boxes on street corners that you may end up living in.

5.  It takes more guts to say NO than it does to say YES.  Your friends will no doubt attempt to get you to do stupid things.  You are boys.  Boys are notoriously stupid at times.  Use your best judgement before making a bad choice.  When in doubt, ask yourself “Would mom beat me if I did this?” If it doesn’t have the mom seal of approval you are probably better off saying no.  Remember, it is mom’s prerogative as to whether or not to bail you out of jail the next day.

lessons we should teach our sons every day

6.  You never, EVER ask a girl out for the first time OR break up with her via text or telephone.  Be a man and stare her straight in the eyes when you have something important to say.

7.  Naked pictures of yourself are not cute unless you are an infant in a bathtub full of suds and a rubber ducky.  Naked pictures of grown up you that are posted on Facebook, Twitter and texted to your friends will come back to haunt you.  That dream job you get offered may just be taken away because someone Googled your name and was horrified by your naked, dangly bits all over the Internet.

8.  The only safe sex occurs with your hand.  No matter how careful you are, every once in while accidental pregnancies happen and if YOU are the cause of that accident you will be paying for that mistake for the rest of your life.  If you absolutely can’t keep it in your pants, glove up and use a condom.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  They can save your from years of financial and emotional issues, as well as prevent some nasty diseases.

9.  The term ‘gay’ should never be used in a derogatory manner.  Gay is a state of being, not something to call a movie you didn’t like or a teacher who gave you an F on a final.  And if you happen to have a friend who comes out and tells you they are gay, I hope you are man enough to hold your head high and still call them a friend.

10.  It is okay to cry.  Not that you have to cry over the death of a caterpillar, the closing of your favorite book store, or your recent burnt dinner attempt (see number 1 above!) but sometimes something will happen that truly hurts.  And it is okay to let that hurt out with a few tears.  And if someone calls you gay for that, reread number 9 and ask yourself if they are really somebody you want to be friends with.


I’m sure I have left out a number of life lessons we should teach our sons but these were the ones that came to mind first.    According to Babble we should be teaching our sons to pee sitting down instead of standing up.  I missed that one… What other life lessons have I neglected to teach my kid?  Please share if you have one!  If you are the mother of a daughter you might like my article on How to Raise Confident Girls.

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About Diane

Diane is a professional blogger and nationally certified pharmacy technician with two teens, one husband and more pets than she will admit to. She has a bachelor’s degree in Microbiology but left her career in science to become a stay at home mom. Years of playing with Legos and coloring with crayons had her craving a more grown up purpose to her life and she began blogging full time. She currently deals with emotional tweens, suburban politics, and middle aged metabolism while sharing her opinions in an honest and down to earth fashion on her blog.


  1. Lora Patten says:
    Play fair, be a good loser, take responsibilities for your own actions good or bad, when choosing a spouse make sure that she gets along with your family (I have seen far too many marriages fall apart because the spouses do not get along with the in laws), and shares the same faith as you (not necessarily denomination, but if you are a Christian and she is not it is going to affect the marriage negatively). RESPECT for self, others, and belongings (we do not live in a disposable world, it is not cool to break something being careless or angry and then expect it to be replaced). Just because you are ENTITLED to your opinion does not mean you should VOICE it, take others feelings into consideration before you open your mouth. Never doubt your worth, but don't think too highly of yourself either. Just because you are privy to certain information does not give you justification to share it with everyone you know, only share things that pertain specifically to yourself and then you will never have to be concerned with starting rumors about others. Be the bigger man and back down from a fight unless it is in self defense and you are struck first.
    • Those are all VERY good things to teach our children! I always try to tell him to think about what he wants to say before opening his mouth. Sometimes it works!
  2. I always tell my son that if you wouldn't feel comfortable with the Pastor knowing you did it, you probably shouldn't do it.
  3. I am SO glad you wrote this!! Seriously! Awesome lessons!! I am so proud of the men my boys turned into. I am so proud of myself for helping them learn to be those awesome dudes! I always like to say you should raise a son you'd like your daughter to marry. Good job mom!
    • Most of the time I am SO proud of that boy...and then he comes out with a belch to rock the house and I wonder what I did wrong!
  4. I am doing pretty well so far. My boys are polite, kind and sensitive. They know girls like compliments and its polite to hold the door open. ( I do this for me. lol. i love it) But I will teach them to not let a girl walk all over them. I see that too often lately, al in the name of girl empowerment. Females talk down to their boyfriends or husbands or are using boys for money, gifts, etc. I hope they (my boys) find someone that they can be partners with, not someone to use or be used by.
    • I love it when my son says "yes ma'am" to a teacher or other person of authority....rarely says it to ME but at least he has manners when other adults talk to him!
  5. Awesome post. I have raised 2 boys and I know I have taught them how I would like them to be; and they as adults have to choose how they continue to grow to be afterward. My oldest just recently got married and I told my new daughter-in-law that "most of the time" how a son treats his mother is a good sign of how he will treat his wife. Your tips were awesome!
    • Glad you liked them! It is not easy raising boys but fingers crossed mine turns out okay despite my mistakes!
  6. Fantastic tips!! I overheard my husband telling my son when he fussed at him last time "I'm just trying to make you a good man." So true!!
  7. I love these and am pinning for later. I have 3 sons, the oldest of which is only 6. I have a looooong way to go with raising this brood! :)
  8. Great tips, my son is 14 and I can't believe how soon he will be an adult and out on his own. There is so much more of a sense of responsibility now, because any mistakes he makes are bigger.
    • agreed. teens can get in a lot of trouble with just one stupid decision. It is nerve wracking being a parent!
  9. Lorie Ann says:
    How to be gentle and kind, be respectful of girls/women, say please/thank you/you're welcome/excuse me, open doors and pull out chairs, take out the trash, plunge and fix a toilet, basic car repairs, how to change a tire, how to tie a tie, how to shake someones hand, how to say sorry.
    • ties give us a lot of trouble! I have no idea how to tie one and we were stuck without the husband around one day when we had a formal occasion to dress for. I had to send him to the neighbors house! I am ashamed! Need to work on that one!
  10. This was a great post! I have two girls, but I read through all of this! I passed it on to a few of my blogging friends with boys!
    • thankyou for sharing. Parenting is a daunting task whether you have boys or girls! With one of each I get to enjoy the pleasure of both :)

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